{ R E A L T A L K }: Let’s Get Serious, shall we?

sooooo it’s April, but can we talk about March?

What. A. Month. Y’all.

{ Shannon Silver // Champagne at Shannon's }

This was one of those months… and with that I made a very uncomfortable realization.

…Therefore, this post is going to be uncomfortable, and the voice is angry, because I’m being real, and I am mad.

And I’m done being mad… because I am mad at myself.

I want to publicly hold myself accountable.

So here we go -the pressure is on.

I’ve mentioned here to that glorifying busyness is annoying.

Pretty much, I’m constantly on the go, being “busy”, doing things, sharing ideas, brainstorming, reading… the list goes on and on, seriously, just ask me, I’ll name a gazillion thoughts I have & the things I think I’m doing or the book I am reading.

Well, I had a very real realization.

I’m not busy at all. In fact, I’m the complete opposite of it.

I’ve been glorifying it like crazy & I’m playing it safe AF & just waiting for things to happen.

Seriously.

I am not taking any risks, I am not putting any of my million ideas in action, and especially with the blog, I’m lazy.

And I’m done.

I’m done playing it safe, I’m done not being proactive, and I am done being lazy.

For example…Let’s go back and talk about photography again.

I said I’d learn the DSLR my boyfriend bought for me as a present for our trip to Japan {aka heaven on Earth} in February of 2015. Guess who has never used the camera until last week? Guess who was going to learn it for Fiji this January but never did? Mmmmhmmmm. Guess who never put her resolution in action. Yeah. You get the picture.

I am going to be completely transparent here: I figured, hey I can do iphone photos & I am getting by with that. And that’s the thing! I’m getting by! I’m not creating anything truly wow. Instead, I’m coasting and complacent.

Serious question: How can I expect my readers to be drawn to my images if I am not investing any time on them?

{ Shannon Silver // Champagne at Shannon's }

And it’s uncomfortable. Why?

Because to get good, I have to fail, I have to suffer, I have to take action.

Not to get redundant but I am teaching myself the very basics on Photography. I am now, finally, constantly reading articles, watching Youtube videos, and finally starting to practice & I’m quite bad at it. And, when I say Basics, I mean bare bone basics. Like what even is a lens? What even is a light sensor? What does light sensitivity mean?

And it is uncomfortable. Why?

Because I’m a psychotic perfectionist. And this isn’t one of those annoying interview answers “‘What is your weakness?’ oh, I’m suuuuuch a perfectionist”.

No. It’s a major personality flaw of mine, it interferes with my life on the daily and, quite honestly, makes me a real tough person to get along with.

Like, so many bloggers try to be the Blair Waldorf with macarons, peonies, perfect hair, a killer outfit… well, me too… but my Blair Waldorf is less about the peonies & fashion – not to mention I never wash my hair ever {biggest hair tip ever, btw, next to collagen} – and more about the insane type crAy personality and obsession with perfection.. but I still love the macarons.

And it is a double-ended sword. If I’m not perfect {{& SPOILER ALERT BUT PERFECTION IS A GIANT LIE BY THE WAY}}, I get embarrassed and give up.

I very much suffer from “Sour Grapes” syndrome.

{ The Fox & The Grapes }

And NO.

The grapes are not sour.

They are the juiciest grapes there are, and to get them, I have to work my ass off to reach them… In fact, I see other people who have worked very hard snacking on the grapes I crave, and they have their eyes on higher, sweeter grapes that I cannot even see yet. They can reach them not because they are taller, instead, they spent countless sacrifices to build a platform to reach them. Every single pun intended.

A big platitude I see these days are “Ideas are nothing”. And it’s true. However, I feel like ideas are glorified with the thinking that “everything starts with one good idea”.

Yes, ideas are the birth of something great. I’m not denying that. But I see it constantly on social media, especially LinkedIn, ideas being pitched with no action behind it. Then, the bitterness comes….

“WAIT no one wants to jump on this BILLION DOLLAR IDEA?!” …And, pardon my french but of course no one fucking does. What is the plan? Why is it a billion dollar idea? Who are the competitors? How are you going to make action happen? What are the next steps? What is the ROI? What are you doing now to make it happen?

Blair Waldorf

And to be completely real – I am working on a product myself. Exciting! Right?! And that sounds so glam, #girlboss, omghustle, but that is the busy-ness that people glorify. That is just the idea. That is all it is… aka nothing. Just a thought. That I’ve put no work into until the past few weeks finally.

When I was in Vegas with my boyfriend, the one moral of the trip at all of our dinners was “get a business plan started”. Seriously. I can’t tell you how many times Erik (who knows a thing or two about business) told me to do it and how to do it. He probably told me that 1000 times during the 48 hours we were there. In fact, we kinda-sorta joked that the “theme of the trip” was make a business plan. We’re really fun, I swear.

My point?: He was done hearing about omgmyidea and wanted to see what I was going to do about it.

It is a lot of work, it is a lot of struggle, it is a lot of experiments, it is a lot of research. But this is what needs to be done behind every idea. And it is what is getting me more and more invested to my idea, and I am not even speaking financially.

Speaking of Waldorf – she nails it here:

CHAMPAGNEblair border

I’m on a roll so here’s another one…

I spend my time reading.

A lot.

You know that if you follow me on Snapchat. I’m constantly posting pages to books I’m reading that stand out to me.

BUT WHAT GOOD IS THIS?!

Seriously. I am reading so much on business, entrepreneurship, economy, financing, food science, social media, hell even blogging, and now photography… but how good is this knowledge that I have through reading if I am doing absolutely nothing to accomplish things?!

So ….

The pressure is on. And things are rolling. And it is uncomfortable, but it’s a part of the growing pains.

At the end of the day, I realized that I have been selling myself short by maintaining my comfort zone. Personally, professionally, financially, technologically, and intellectually.

And I’m done.

And to be completely honest, I have not felt this invigorated since 2013.

The last time I felt this powerful was when I left Dallas and started anew.

To be honest, San Francisco was never scary but making the executive decision & leave Dallas (aka my comfort zone) was…btw, fun fact #1 I’ve never been here before I decided to move. YEAH, it was NOT easy and looking back, I cannot believe I actually did it. It was the most brazen thing I have ever done but I was driven by my passion… and the past 3 years have been the best of my life because I proactively made a change and put in the work to make it happen… which might or might not have meant that I did not have a home for a good while and was sleeping on floors until I figured it out. And to this day, those are some of my favourite memories.

So again, like I did in September of 2013, I am taking over control, which is weird, because I am taking it back from lazy Shannon this time rather than another person… so let’s see what will happen. If the past 3 years have been so incredible, albeit a little lax, the next few years should be one for the books.

….in regards of the product. Well, stay tuned – it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, if you will, but what I can tell is this: it is beverage / health / wellness related. 😉

Anyways /rant.

{ Shannon Silver // Champagne at Shannon's }

….. sooooo what are you up to this weekend? Any tips for stepping things TF up?! I will be practicing photography, developing my product, and working on my editorial calendar alllllll weekend long while my boyfriend is in San Diego & who knows, maybe binge on some Gossip Girl now! Anyone else?

FWIW this song really got me through August 2013, for anyone in a similar boat..

[soundcloud]https://soundcloud.com/crystalfighters/champion-sound-psychemagik-remix[/soundcloud]

PS – for all you going to Coachella, Crystal Fighters will be there. Def check them out, they are phenomenal. soundcloud // spotify

Okay, talk soon!

x Shannon

{ The Fox & The Grapes via Carla Altum // photos of me via RJP // BW via }

 

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